Blog from U.N.C.L.E

Our mission is fuN

21
Feb, 2019

New York Toy Fair 2019 – Insider Info!

This week Wicked Uncle has been checking out the best and coolest toys around at the biggest toy fair in the country – New York Toy Fair 2019! Each year we visit this awesome place to try out the newest toys and select the most fun products for parents, uncles, aunts and grandparents to buy for birthday and Christmas presents for the brilliant kids in their lives. What a lot of toys we saw – from flying poo emojis to marvelous magic tricks, this year was TOY HEAVEN!

With over 1,000 exhibitors Wicked Uncle got to catch up with some of our wicked existing suppliers as well as meet exciting new ones. There were some of the obvious big players there such as Melissa and Doug and Thames and Kosmos, along with smaller companies that have some wicked and unusual toys, games and crafts. They all came ready to show off their newest and coolest products so we had to try out their best toys – it would be rude not to! It was an incredible sight with all of the grown-ups conducting magic, playing with toy trucks, dressing up as unicorns and flying drones. We did have to throw in some serious handshakes and head-nodding too, of course…

We stopped off to see our friends at Marvin’s Magic, who were on top form performing some jaw-dropping tricks. Their cool magic sets will really amaze your friends and relatives, with interactive tricks, phone magic, and 3D illusions. There is always a great atmosphere at their stand and this year was no exception.

Insect Lore were there celebrating their glorious 50th anniversary and showed us that all things insects are still causing a buzz of excitement. Their popular butterfly, ladybug and ant growing kits still prove a huge hit, as well as their Live Butterfly Garden. Start looking forward to spring with their Butterfly Garden that we have in stock – click here!

We also bumped into the awesome Play Visions that have already given us the very popular Animal Torch and Projector and Space Torch and Projector with fantastic photos to project on the wall. They are adding the Mermaid Torch and Projector this year (pictures of course – the mermaids were hiding when an attempt was made to take a photo)!

Another exciting company showcasing their incredible gizmos was Odyssey Toys who really know how to make technology cool. Have a look at their brilliant Upshot smart bow & arrow gaming system here – practice your archery skills with this bow and virtual game on your phone!

With so much to see and do, we couldn’t possibly mention everything, but suffice it to say that there are loads of brilliant toys and games to come in 2019. Stick with Wicked Uncle for the coolest presents around. We won’t let you down!

Ps And now for some epic jokes:

A man was taken to hospital after eating daffodil bulbs. Doctors say he’s recovering and he’ll be out in the Spring.

  1. What did the llama say when he got kicked out of the zoo?
    A. “Alpaca my bags!”
  2. What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
    A. A door.

21
Feb, 2019

Splish Splash, Get These Kids In the Bath

Bathtime is a luxury for adults.

For kids, it’s pure torture. Nevertheless, it must be suffered through. If we at Wicked Uncle can ease your aching muscles, so to speak, let us be your Epsom salt.

We’ve got tons of tricks to get your muddy, stinky babies excited about dunking themselves in a perilous porcelain pool. All you’ve got to do is get them in there – we’ll handle the fun stuff. Before you know it, they’ll be BEGGING to interrupt their evenings and get squeaky clean!

First things first – make it interactive. It’s always more enjoyable to do anything if you’ve got a stake in it. The Make Your Own Bath Bombs kit has everything you need to get to fizzling. It’s got a 36-page instruction guide, three different colors of baking soda, and strawberry kiwi oil so you’ll smell like an exotic fruit bowl at the end of it all. What could you possibly want to do more after making a bath bomb than USE IT!? At $21.99, that’s basically $1.75 per bath bomb. The experience of designing your own? Priceless.

Step two to making the bath enticing – turn it into a cruise ship traveling the globe. With the World Map in the Tub, every bubble bath instantly whisks you away to South America, the Taj Mahal, the mountains in Africa. The 29-piece puzzle includes fun facts about all the regions of our world, adorable and terrifying animals, and the tiles stick on the tile OR float on the water?! Cheaper than a cruise ship, I’ll tell you that much. $15.99 to become a clean citizen of the world!

Perfect for the tinier tots, we’ve got a set of Hoops for the Tub. You can suction to the tiles to line up baby’s first lay-up. The set’s got three different colored balls and the mesh net is closed, so you won’t even have to dive deep into the treacherous bubbles to retrieve scores. You can lead a babe to water – but can you make ‘em dunk? Find out at $12.99!

And this staffer’s personal favorite – Donut Scented Bath Bombs. Three luscious, frosted sugar-dough scented treats dissolve in your bath water and transport you to a bakery on the boardwalk. If all else fails, and the kiddos remain unmoved by games and crafts, simply draw a bath, drop the bomb, and let ‘em follow their sniffers in. About the price of a dozen doughnuts, twice as healthy, and much longer-lasting, they’re a pretty sweet deal at $10.99.

It can be frustrating to scrub these scroungy little things, but trust me – it’s a habit better learned sooner than later!

Q: Which birds steal soap from the bath ?

A: Robber ducks !

Q: When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath, what is still dirty?

A: The bathtub.

07
Feb, 2019

Presidents Day Birthday Presents for Young Aspiring Presidents (YAPs) ?

Presidents’ Day is rounding the corner, right on the heels of the much-anticipated State of the Union address. So what does that mean for you?

Well not much unless the child in your life hopes one day to be President. So that must rule out someone.

BUT, these sorts of national holidays are always a good time to get the youth of America excited about our government! Though our country’s illustrious history is only 243 years young, we’ve covered LOADS of ground since then. I don’t know about you, but most 9 year olds I run into know more about the branches of our government than I do!

That’s not very fun, though, and in truth, I don’t know how they can stomach it – the checks, the balances, all that vetoing.

Here at Wicked Uncle, we’re dedicated to bringing you the goofiest takes on all things austere and heralded. Check out the Presidential Eraser, modeled after our current POTUS. In bright orange, with his signature hairstyle molded into the rubber, even your bigliest mistakes can be deleted and lost to the sands of time – much more secure than Twitter. And the savings will be so HUGE you can afford a stay in the Trump Tower!

And for those children who never make mistakes, how about this book of cartoons and fun facts exploring the exotic pets who have roamed the White House? The Presidential Pets book is simply teeming with wild and almost unbelievable tales of the presidents of yore and their best buddies. John Quincy Adams, for example, kept an alligator in the East Room bathroom! WAY more fun than discussing the legislative process. $14.95 isn’t even what you’d pay for ALLIGATOR food!

And last but not least, for the doers, the movers, the shakers, the activity-obsessed – the best way to connect to any culture is through their food, right? Check out the Eat Your U.S. History Homework and learn about how the pilgrims ate during the first Thanksgiving, RECIPES INCLUDED, or how they made grub during the French and Indian War – even learn about the evolution of French toast!

Celebrate what makes our country special, now and then. And as always, keep it fun!

Q: Which one of George Washington’s officers had the best sense of humor?
A: Laughayette!

01
Feb, 2019

Super Gifts for Super Kids for the Super Bowl

Everybody ready for the big face-off this Sunday between the Rams and the Patriots? Watching those beefed up Titans charging across that heralded Georgian stadium, knocking into each other and beating the drums of war? That happens at a Super Bowl, right?

Some of us only watch for the commercials. Some of us watch it for the half-time show. But MOST of us will watch it to see Tom Brady and Jared Goff compete for ultimate sportsdom sovereignty. Loving football (the true American pastime – sorry, baseball) starts in the crib.
Or at least as soon as their thumb dexterity allows them to hold a football. Which, according to science, is around 3 years old.


For squishy footballs, anyway. That’s why we’ve got the Squish Starter Football. It’s the perfect first football for barely capable hands! Turn your toddler into a touchdown-scoring maniac. It’s easy to throw, easy to catch, and it’s got enlarged ridges for grasping and spiraling. And it won’t necessarily break too many things if you throw it around inside! And it’s MUCH cheaper than a Super Bowl ticket.


If you’ve already got dexterous little superstars, you’ll need to level up. Gain yardage, so to speak. We’re talking about the Nerf Aero Vortex Howler. It’s got a hand grip so you can target your passes better before moving on to that NFL-grade pigskin. The long distance tail sends it flying much further, up to 100 yards! AND IT WHISTLES AS IT SOARS!


To build an army of football champions, you’ve got train these kids on their micro skills. It’s one thing to be the biggest and the strongest – but aim? Power? Precision? You need the Dart Ball. It uses coveted dart ball science – like an advanced archery plus badminton plus regular old darts. It’s got 2 mini launchers, 6 dart balls, a target net, and a scoreboard. For those LESS enthusiastic about football than the rest of the known world, this set might be the perfect tangential introduction!


And finally… again from the sidelines, for the stubborn kids allergic to that conical football shape, trick ‘em into loving sports with the Waboba Sol Ball. It changes colors in the sun, it bounces MULTIPLE TIMES on water on a single throw, and it’s a gateway ball! Once a kid gets a taste for playing catch, it’s only a couple more yards to a tight spiral and a signature TD dance. Get started and watch your masterplan unfold…

And just in case you thought we weren’t serious enough about Football, some Wicked Uncle jokes.

Q: How do you keep the St Louis Rams out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: What’s the difference between the New England Patriots and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

07
Jan, 2019

New Year – and a plea from January Birthday Kids

Who knows why – maybe some scientist does – but a lot of children are born just after Christmas. And they want you to know, amazing as it is, they have birthdays too. I know this is weird, but one of the Elves here at Wicked Uncle has a brother with 7 children and 4 of them were born (not the same year) in January.

So, just a reminder, January’s child is Fair of Face, Full of Grace, Loving and Giving, Works Hard for a Living and, well, you might know the rest of the nursery rhyme.

And, in the meantime, in case you’re missing Christmas, one last Christmas joke to carry you through for a year.

Why did the orange take a prune to the Christmas party ?….. Because it couldn’t find a date. 

Happy New Year from everyone at Wicked Uncle.

14
Dec, 2018

Uncle Christmas Is Coming Soon!

You’re still in time for Christmas.
Like the Santa dude, we are pros. We do Christmas every year. If you order with us by 4pm EST on Monday, December 17th with regular shipping we will deliver in time for Christmas, anywhere in the lower 48.

We have totally Brilliant Children’s Presents. You can get Glitter Face Paint– quirky, a Flashing LED Baseball Cap, the World’s Smallest Voice Changer that makes everything you say sound like a robot.

And we have the world’s finest Unicorn Poo, a Build-A-Drone set, a trainable Robot PuppyMini Bug Vacuum to examine the creepy and the crawly, a Jellyfish Tank Mood Lamp, an LED Racing Track to squeal to the finish line, and a collapsible Soccer Ball.

So you can still be a brilliant Uncle or Aunt, or other wonderful relative, and make Little Timmy’s Christmas even more fun!

All you have to do is order before 4pm EST on Monday, December 17th. Our elves will pick it out, box it up, and send it out with standard shipping at $6.95.
For 3 day Express, our deadline is Tuesday, Dec 18 at 4pm EST.
For 2 day Express, our deadline is Wednesday, Dec 19 4pm EST.

Our trucking and delivery friends are very good and work really hard to get everything done in time. Be sure to check the Tracking email we send. If they say they have delivered and you haven’t gotten it, ask your neighbors – it will be there somewhere.

Happy Last Minute Christmas-ing

The Wicked Uncle Christmas-is-Almost-Here Team

PS – A seasonal joke:

PPS – Keep believing in Uncle Christmas – he is on his way!

10
Dec, 2018

O-Deer – The Crazy Christmas Game

Imagine Dec. 25th with O-Deer, a festive fun game for family Christmases that anyone can play. You get an inflatable set of antlers, a red Rudolph nose and six (not five!) inflatable gold rings and a timer. The reindeer puts on the antlers and the nose while everybody else gets to chuck the rings on!

You can try and catch the reindeer or avoid the rings. And you can add a time limit. Or stand on one leg. It’s like Family Christmases used to be before everybody got sensible – and could be again!

 

It is clearly the maddest game anyone would want to have this Christmas, which makes it in our view totally wicked and entirely irresistible.

The picture above was taken in the middle of the London Toy Fair. You just can’t help yourself. It costs $16.99 and could be yours in a couple of days.

Happy Hooping,
The Wicked Uncle Whipping-up-the-Reindeer Team

PS – And now the Reindeer jokes are coming strong and fast (like Rudolph)!

What do reindeer always say before telling a joke? This one will “sleigh” you!

Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners? “Rude”-olph!

What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy? “Elk”-a-seltzer!

Did Rudolph go to a regular school? No, he was “elf”-taught!

What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail? He’d go to a “retail” shop for a new one!

What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards.

PPS – And finally, our friends at Storynory have got this fun Christmas story to listen to when you are snuggling down with small people.

20
Nov, 2018

Stinky Pig – The Best Game Ever

While possibly not our most sophisticated present ever, the Stinky Pig game is one of the most fun. Press his tummy to start him singing, then roll the dice to see where to pass him before he farts. It is like a smart version of Hot Potato.

He starts singing. When time runs out, he toots. Whoever is holding him takes a token and you start again. Pass him fast, get the fewest tokens, you win. Delightfully unsophisticated and massively popular.

Officially he is for ages 6+, but we suspect you don’t have to be quite so old to get the point. He costs $11.99 and is our most popular game ever. Nobody ever made a mistake underestimating the taste of the average 6 year old….

So what are you waiting for?! Pass the pig!


Here are some piggy jokes to get you laughing:

Q: Why did the pig wear yellow coveralls?
A: He split a seam in his blue ones.

What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig!

One day a little pig walked into a bar. He asked the bartender for a beer, and after drinking it he asked where the toilet was. The bartender told him where it was and off walked the pig. Then another little pig walked in and he also asked the bartender for a beer. After drinking it, he too asked where the toilet was. Once again the bartender gave him directions and off walked the pig.

Then yet another little pig walked into the bar and asked for a beer, which he drank. Then the bartender asked him, “Don’t you want to know where the toilet is?”The pig replied, “No, I’m the little pig that went wee wee wee all the way home”.

I was reading a book on pig anatomy the other day. It was all pretty standard until I got to the end. Then there was a twist in the tale.

14
Nov, 2018

Breaking News For Congress: You Don’t Need A Sleigh…

… to deliver great presents!

We’re thrilled to announce that Wicked Uncle is coming soon to a capitol near you. That’s right, we’re delivering people and presents all across the metro D.C. area this holiday season. Don’t believe us? Check out this real photo that totally isn’t a mock-up that we photoshopped:

We’re super psyched to be bringing a whole new level of wicked to politics this November. We’ll be climbing down congress’ chimney to lobby for what really matters: COOL TOYS! That’s right, we heard your voices resounding for change across the country, and we’re here to deliver. Literally.

Be sure to look out for our buses and subway ads across the D.C. Metro. Bonus points if you take a photo and tag us in it on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram!

Now, we know we’re no White House Correspondent’s Dinner, but here are a few jokes that made us chuckle:

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly… and for the same reason.

The NSA: a government organization that actually listens to you!

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.

09
Nov, 2018

The Hanukkah Mysteries? Finally, an Answer!

So many questions this holiday season. One big gift or 8 small ones? Something special with the first candle or something inspiring with the last? Chanukkah with a C and two Ks, Chanukah with a C and one K? Or Hanukah with no C and one K? Turns out, it doesn’t matter!

When it comes to gifts, we’re guessing you assume we did a break-even analysis spreadsheet and cracked the code to the perfect algorithm, don’t you? Well, we did, but we can’t just share our secrets that easily! The answer is even more simple: Why not both! Jewish kids all over the world have agonized over this exact predicament for over 2,000 years… probably. Or maybe just the unenlightened adult gift-givers.

Here at Wicked Uncle, we definitely have at least eight smaller presents and a choice of way more than two significant heavy-hitting gifts. Check ‘em out in our special Hanukkah selection, full of unique and fun Hanukkah gifts. Organized, as always, for just the right age.

 

As they say in the show biz: Lights, Miracles, Rebellion!

  1. ZigaZak: A Magical Hanukkah Night (Best for ages 5-7)
    Hanukkah wouldn’t be complete without a spellbinding tale of the old country, hitting the major points of Jewish folklore, of course: wise rabbis, terrified townsfolk, unbelievable illustrations, etc. Makes a wonderful 1st night of Hanukkah gift!
  2.  Creepy Glow Creatures (Best for ages 6-8)
    65 zoob pieces, innumerable hours of fun! Make tons of hanging, sticking, bending, glowing, eerie creatures once you’ve lit your shamash and candles. You could even build your own golem!
  3. Glowing Disc Drone (Best for ages 6 and older)
    Perfect for buzzing around the living room while the grown-ups chat over Manischewitz. Twist and soar with the 6 axis gyro on this drone lit by 12 LED lights. It can even be operated my multiple controllers, facilitating all out DRONE WAR in the backyard!
  4. Foooty (Good for all ages)
    Now, this is just the kind of toy that hits the nail on the Judaic head. Not only is it industrious (you’ve got to connect 10 plastic pieces in order to create your ball), it’s unbelievably fun! Its portability allows you to practice flicks and kicks anywhere, and the 10 pieces can also be clicked into a frisbee, rugby ball, juggling balls, and more!
  5. LED Light Up Glasses (Good for all ages)
    Aaaaand we’re right back to goofy and silly – switch it up, keep ‘em on their toes! These red and blue neon glasses also have a FLASH setting, so you can turn your latkes and matzah ball soup into the rave our ancestors intended it to be.
  6. Flexi-light (Good for all ages)
    It’s ALMOST scholarly – it’s like a scholarly trick. With all the adorable patterns, like hearts and kitties, it seems like a fun, innocuous accessory. Alas! It’s for reading under the covers, in cars on road trips, or in your room while your little sibling is asleep. A perfect trinket for a bookworm!
  7. Light-Up Bubbleizer (Best for ages 4-7)
    This toy is a classic crowd-pleaser, upgraded with some wicked 2018 features. You get to watch the bubbles getting cooked up inside the bubbleizer body, then pour out by the thousands, lit up by wacky colors as they go! Totally portable and undeniably joyful, this bubble factory is the ultimate in post-prayer frivolity!
  8. Metal Detector (Good for all ages)
    And the culmination of all these little gifts is the biggest of them all – a collapsible metal detector that works up to 6″ underground! This thing’s got LED lights that spark up when it senses metal and of course, various beep tones for different types of metal. Are you sitting on a gold mine, or is it just a pile of Hanukkah gelt? Only one way to find out!

 

And now, for THE BIG GIFTS.

We’ve arrived at the main event now. These major toys will knock the socks off of some very lucky Hanukkah celebrators.

The Design & Drill (best for 3 and up) is a wonderful first step on the road to creativity and imagination. The kit comes with 80 colored plastic bolts to arrange onto the light-up boards in any of 12 provided patterns, or to design from your own kooky brain! The translucent drill and drill bits are great for dexterity training, while you’re practicing your colors, shapes, and being dazzled by the glowing colored lights!

Speaking of glowing lights, don’t neglect the Glowing Disc Drone (best for ages 6 and up), perfect for buzzing around the living room while the grown-ups chat over Manischewitz. Twist and soar with the 6 axis gyro on this drone lit by 12 LED lights. It can even be operated my multiple controllers, facilitating all-out DRONE WAR in the backyard!

For the older kids, who doesn’t want to be the cool drummer in the friend group? This Flexible Roll-up Drum Kit (best for ages 8 and up) has got record and playback functions, multiple instrumental tracks, professional demos, multiple sound styles, audio input and output, AND you can connect your iPod, Zune, smartphone, or whatever kids are using these days. The 9 drum images play the respective sounds of the drums they represent. It’s about the most authentic drumming experience one can have without actually having drums. The best part? You can plug in headphones so only the drummer hears the beat!

Unequivocally, the great Hanukkah debate of 200 BC has been settled: 8 little ones or 1 big one? It’s 2018! We can have it all!

 

Second only to playing Dreidel, it’s Wicked Joke Time!

My mother once gave me two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one. When she saw what I was wearing she said, “What’s the matter? You didn’t like the other one?”

I asked the waiter if my latkes would be long. He said, “No sir, they’ll be round!”

What’s green, spins round and has wheels?
A dreidel, I lied about the wheels.

06
Nov, 2018

Stuff Thanksgiving… With Fun!

They say nothing brings family together like the holidays. We say nothing brings family together like game night! So why not combine the two? Keep the post-dinner debates to a minimum with some good old-fashioned fun. Stuff The Turkey will make you laugh harder than the dinner conversation, and you won’t have to wash the tablecloth after.

You have one simple goal: be the first to get your sprout up the turkey’s behind. Now you can make a game of it, use a party blower instead of your hands, AND the in-laws won’t be telling you you’re doing it wrong. That’s a pretty good deal for only $13.99.

What are you waiting for?! Start Stuffing!

26
Oct, 2018

Gifts For Young Maccabees

It’s time again for the trickiest time of year. That profound question. NOT ‘do we spell it Hannukah, Chanukah or even Chranukah’ – but ‘what are the best, fun gift ideas for kids to fill 8 luminous days?’ No one wants ANOTHER menorah, dreidel, or bag of gelt. It’s almost the opposite of a present, candy you have to work for. You’ve got to EARN that candy. You feel a little gilt-y at the end of it all, just you and a pile of ripped gold tinfoil.

We have a great range of fun, unique toys sorted by age and interest and we have fabulous giftwrap. And we have put together a Best of Hanukkah Gifts site just to make selection and inspiration even easier, with some special toys and deals you won’t find elsewhere in our store.

This year, let’s put a bit more feeling into our present selection – maybe fewer pencils stamped with stars of David, and more toys that reflect the true rebel spirit of Hanukkah. We’ve got you sorted out with a fun bestseller to match each Hanukkah theme, all laid out here in plain English, translated, of course, from its original Hebrew in the old texts.

Theme One: BATTLING TYRANNY

Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls, with 100 tales of heroism accompanied by illustrations from 60 female artists, is a gift to get excited about. Profiling powerful women from ancient history all the way up to the Williams’ sisters, this book of bedtime stories fits perfectly with the Jewish propensity for showing strength and resistance.

Theme Two: GAMBLING AND GAMES

Jews famously can have fun under almost any circumstances – that’s how the Dreidel game came about, after all! We don’t have to play with actual bows and arrows anymore. It’s not ancient Greece. The Virtual Bow & Arrow game is a fantastic meeting point between the old and the new, allowing you to stretch and bend an actual bow while playing through virtual fields and jungles on your smartphone. A riotous good time for all, and perfect to play with after latkes and apple sauce!

Theme Three: DOING GOOD DEEDS

You can’t separate Jewish culture from mitzvahs, and you definitely can’t miss-tvah with this present. The Adopt a Penguin Kit provides everything you need to know about your penguin as well as providing a donation, which any sensible penguin would use to move somewhere warmer. The Red Sea, perhaps ?

Theme Four: FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS

Hanukkah’s all about bringing light into darkness, illuminating what was once concealed. One of the few static truths in this world is that little boys never stop wanting to build things, and adding a glow feature can never hurt. The Laser Twister Tracks has got 12 feet of LED light-up track to arrange and rearrange, as well as an LED race car with a USB charging port. It’s multicolored, modern, and right in line with what kids are interested in this year.

Theme Five: MIRACLES

Wicked Uncle’s got PLENTY of miraculous gifts sure to get Gen Xers excited! Mystical creatures still haven’t wavered in public opinion, and they’ve certainly not gotten less miraculous. We recommend the Make-Your-Own Unicorn Hoodie – it’s warm, cozy, mythical, AND creative! The fabric comes pre-cut, and the instructions guide you fully through knotting together the correct pieces.

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, we made it out of PLAY TIME! Have your games and principles, too. There’s nothing about Hanukkah that says you can’t have both! Let us guide you through the darkness on this. These gifts are a more fun spin on the festivities than a Dreidel on a tilt-a-whirl!

And to ensure the children in your life enjoy themselves, while not gambling or overthrowing tyranny or browsing the Best of Hanukkah Gifts site, we thought you could probably use a few jokes from our Joke Factory.

Which hand should you light the menorah with?
Neither, much safer to use a candle.

What’s the best Hanukkah gift for someone who has everything?
A burglar alarm.

What do you call a latke that looks wrong?
An unidentified frying object.

A Jewish family – no surprise- found themselves in a Chinese restaurant on Christmas day. They were amazed when the Chinese waiter spoke to them in fluent Yiddish. How could this be, they asked the manager. “Shhhhh,” he said, “Not so loud, he thinks we’re teaching him English”.

24
Oct, 2018

Sparkle and Shine for Halloween

It’s that time of year when good things of day begin to droop and drowse. So dust off the Halloween costumes and get ready to trick-or-treat. To help you do just that, we have our super Glitter Face Paint in six fantastic colors.

It’s bright and colorful, and when the lights fall on it the colors sparkle almost as brightly as their smiles. Draw anything you want – seriously, anything – and wash it away when you’ve successfully convinced the whole neighborhood of your magic. Just remember to hide the little ones if you draw something scary!

It is easy to put on and comes with a fun guide with helpful tips and tricks, and the set includes both glitter paint and rhinestones! Release your inner wild dragon, floating fairy, galactic glam queen, or elegant mermaid.

Happy Scaring,

The Wicked Uncle USA SpookMasters

PS – Here is a special Halloween audio story from our friends at Storynory. Not too scary so you can play it to small people….

PPS – And a couple of good jokes:

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.

What do you call a prehistoric ghost ?
A terror-dactyl!

“I supplied Filofaxes to the Mafia – yeah, I was involved in very organized crime.”

24
Oct, 2018

Wicked Pranks For Tricksters

Forget the treats, let’s just trick this year!

It’s trick-or-treat season and we’re serving up some truly evil pranks. Dish out everything from fake parking tickets to smartphone pranks and freaky body surprises. You don’t have to go full-on Michael Meyers to set the mood!

The monsters are coming out of hiding, so kick the festivities up a notch to nightmarish with an amazing set of 100 devilish pranks and jokes to play on family and friends. It’s the perfect gift for any prankster who likes to keep you on your toes.

Just remember: there ain’t no rest for the wicked.

Start pranking now!

18
Oct, 2018

Same Kid, New (And Improved?) Voice

The creepy crawlies are coming out to play and the bedtime voices are getting spookier, so arm your kids to scare back this Halloween with the ultimate mini voice changer.

The World’s Smallest Voice Changer is so tiny it fits in any pocket, which is perfect for the kid who loves to scare the living daylight out of you anytime (don’t worry, you can remove the batteries if they start ruining perfectly quiet Saturdays).

With this toy, their voice will be transformed into something you hardly recognize. Who knows, maybe they’ll even forget themselves and become actual robots who clean their rooms and empty the dishwasher.*

*There is no guarantee of child brainwashing. Only 10% of children using Worlds Smallest Voice Changer reported any urge to put away their clean laundry.

Flip the switch and activate their new voices.

And some hilarious chore-related jokes:

What do you call when you cross a cleaning device with a toy?
A broom-erang.

What’s the one book no kid reads?
Clean Your Room by Dale E. Chores.

You: Have you heard that famous Queen song?
Them: No
You: It’s called ‘Another One Fights The Dust’.

16
Oct, 2018

Costumes For Little Monsters

It’s time to pull out your craziest outfits (and no, we don’t mean those ’80s jazzercise leg warmers), because we’re headed straight for Halloween. We’ve got some great costume gifts that are both functional and fun for the spookiest month of the year. After all, our name is WICKED uncle!

  1. Design Your Own Fairy Wings
    For the artistic side, get your girls a set of fairy wings they can make their own. Whether they want to be more of a Tinkerbell or a Fairy Godmother, they can use the materials included to become whatever kind of fairy they want.
  2. Fire Fighter’s Water Sprayer
    If the kids like a little more action and heroics in their fun and games then the ultimate water sprayer is gonna turn up the heat. Plus, maybe they’ll spray down the dirty parts of the house.
  3. Tie-Dye Light-Up Tutu
    Whether they’re a dancing queen, young and sweet, OR only seventeen, this fashion-forward piece is sure to please. Dance the night away with the ultimate ballerina or princess – just make sure she’s in bed before she turns into a pumpkin.

Here’s a Halloween joke:

Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?
Their bats flew away!

28
Sep, 2018

A Wicked Birthday Party

It’s our first Wicked Uncle USA birthday, and our very handsome resident Wicked Uncle would like to tell you a story. So gather ’round, kids.

One year ago, our company crashed to the rocky shores of Washington, D.C. with a British accent and a dream. That dream? To become the most beloved toy seller in the New World! But of course we had a lot to learn.

We forged streams of pushback, battling ferociously to set up shipping prices that wouldn’t make a grown man cry. We searched high and low for the coolest toys in the land, and the most attractive employees. We fought the evil snakes of the Amazon and the animals at Toys R Us to become the wickedest uncles in the land!

And now, as our first year comes to a close, there’s only one conceivable way to celebrate: CAKE! (Or dog food, for our more refined friends.)

Ain’t no party like a Wicked Uncle party ‘cuz a Wicked Uncle party’s basically a zoo. Happy birthday to us!

And take a look at this nice montage of some of our highlights for the day:

 

Here are a few birthday belly-busters:

Forget about the past, you can’t change it.
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was the icing on the cake.

Why did the birthday cake visit the psychologist?
Because it was feeling crumby.

27
Sep, 2018

Get Your Reading Glasses, Here’s The Fine Print

Wicked Uncle USA is running a giveaway! All you have to do is follow us, “LIKE”, and comment on our giveaway posts on on Facebook or Twitter. We will choose the winners at random by replying to your comment. It’s really that simple. Except, of course, that it isn’t quite, because every good giveaway has some terms and conditions. Here are ours:

This competition is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administrated by, or associated with Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. If you enter one of our competitions, we will assume that you have read these rules and that you agree to them.

*Serious Face & Throat Clear*
~To enter our competition you must be a US resident, and 18 years old or over at the time of entry.
~No responsibility can be accepted for entries that are not received for any reason.
~The winner will be the entrant(s) selected at random by Wicked Uncle.
~The closing date/time is as specified in each competition, and Wicked Uncle USA reserves the right to amend the competition end date at any time.
~If you win a competition, we will notify you on the platform where you enter. If we cannot contact you or you do not respond within two weeks, we reserve the right to offer the prize to another competition entrant.
~The prize cannot be transferable to another person.
~No prize or part of a prize is exchangeable for cash, tickets or services.
~If an advertised prize is not available, we reserve the right to offer an alternative prize.
~Wicked Uncle reserves the right to amend these rules at any time. If we do this, we will publish the amended competition rules.

Whoa, that was dull. But necessary! Here is a joke to make everything okay again:

My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep.
I said “40.”

 

26
Sep, 2018

Mermaids and Unicorns and Bears – Oh My!

As the leaves begin to change all across the U.S. and the air turns chilly, what better way to spend the evening doing homework or on a playdate with the softest blankets of all time! If your feet are getting cold, Wicked Uncle’s got you covered.

If you’re shopping for a beautiful mermaid or merman who dreams of life in the ocean, check out our magnificent rainbow mermaid tail blanket! Swim out to the open carpet ocean to pet dolphins and explore unknown shipwrecks on the living room floor!

If you’ve got a child with a lion’s heart, then our roary lion blanket will perfectly warm the king of the jungle, keeping them scary AND snuggly. With hand pockets for your claws you’ll be able to pounce and leap, then curl up and take a nap.

If the kids in your life love the world’s largest fish, then wrap them up in our shark blankets! We’ve got two great white sharks, one shark attack in profile and one head-on shark attack. It’s the perfect chance to try getting eaten by a shark!

For the child who’s running with elves and dancing with centaurs, get them the unicorn hoodie blanket. This gift is perfect because they can decorate their own magical best friend using the easy instructions and exercise their creativity.

Each blanket is made with a super soft material, with no fur, scales, or teeth from real animals. These blankets will bring hours of imaginative play and fun, likely followed by a nice long nap. Bring out the wild right at home as the weather changes and enjoy the excitement!

Here are some wicked animal jokes:

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
Put it on my bill!

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?
It gets toad away.

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.

14
Sep, 2018

Foooty: For Anyone With Feet

When you’re on-the-go, you never know when you’re going to want to pull out a ball and play. And it’s no fun lugging around an entire soccer ball in your backpack all day. But don’t worry, your Wicked Uncle Elves have found a solution!

Foooty is a brilliant toy for a million reasons, but probably the biggest one is that it comes apart. The ball comes in 10 individual pieces that fit perfectly in your pocket, and you can put it together and take it apart whenever you need to! It assembles in minutes and lasts ’til you drop, making it the perfect toy to bring along on an adventure with friends.

Check out this awesome YouTube video that shows you how it’s done.

Whether your child is stuck waiting for the bus or has a free period after lunch, this sturdy ball will provide hours of endless fun. And when the fun is done, simply disassemble it and put it back in your pocket! It’s certainly a toy we wish we’d had growing up.

Pull a ball of fun out of your back pocket today!

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