You’re still in time for Christmas.
Like the Santa dude, we are pros. We do Christmas every year. If you order with us by 4pm EST on Monday, December 17th with regular shipping we will deliver in time for Christmas, anywhere in the lower 48.
We have totally Brilliant Children’s Presents. You can get Glitter Face Paint– quirky, a Flashing LED Baseball Cap, the World’s Smallest Voice Changer that makes everything you say sound like a robot.
And we have the world’s finest Unicorn Poo, a Build-A-Drone set, a trainable Robot Puppy, a Mini Bug Vacuum to examine the creepy and the crawly, a Jellyfish Tank Mood Lamp, an LED Racing Track to squeal to the finish line, and a collapsible Soccer Ball.
All you have to do is order before 4pm EST on Monday, December 17th. Our elves will pick it out, box it up, and send it out with standard shipping at $6.95.
For 3 day Express, our deadline is Tuesday, Dec 18 at 4pm EST.
For 2 day Express, our deadline is Wednesday, Dec 19 4pm EST.
Our trucking and delivery friends are very good and work really hard to get everything done in time. Be sure to check the Tracking email we send. If they say they have delivered and you haven’t gotten it, ask your neighbors – it will be there somewhere.
Happy Last Minute Christmas-ing
The Wicked Uncle Christmas-is-Almost-Here Team
PS – A seasonal joke:
Imagine Dec. 25th with O-Deer, a festive fun game for family Christmases that anyone can play. You get an inflatable set of antlers, a red Rudolph nose and six (not five!) inflatable gold rings and a timer. The reindeer puts on the antlers and the nose while everybody else gets to chuck the rings on!
You can try and catch the reindeer or avoid the rings. And you can add a time limit. Or stand on one leg. It’s like Family Christmases used to be before everybody got sensible – and could be again!
It is clearly the maddest game anyone would want to have this Christmas, which makes it in our view totally wicked and entirely irresistible.
The picture above was taken in the middle of the London Toy Fair. You just can’t help yourself. It costs $16.99 and could be yours in a couple of days.
The Wicked Uncle Whipping-up-the-Reindeer Team
What do reindeer always say before telling a joke? This one will “sleigh” you!
Which of Santa’s reindeer has bad manners? “Rude”-olph!
What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy? “Elk”-a-seltzer!
Did Rudolph go to a regular school? No, he was “elf”-taught!
What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail? He’d go to a “retail” shop for a new one!
What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards.
While possibly not our most sophisticated present ever, the Stinky Pig game is one of the most fun. Press his tummy to start him singing, then roll the dice to see where to pass him before he farts. It is like a smart version of Hot Potato.
He starts singing. When time runs out, he toots. Whoever is holding him takes a token and you start again. Pass him fast, get the fewest tokens, you win. Delightfully unsophisticated and massively popular.
Officially he is for ages 6+, but we suspect you don’t have to be quite so old to get the point. He costs $11.99 and is our most popular game ever. Nobody ever made a mistake underestimating the taste of the average 6 year old….
Here are some piggy jokes to get you laughing:
Q: Why did the pig wear yellow coveralls?
A: He split a seam in his blue ones.
What do you call a pig with three eyes? Piiig!
One day a little pig walked into a bar. He asked the bartender for a beer, and after drinking it he asked where the toilet was. The bartender told him where it was and off walked the pig. Then another little pig walked in and he also asked the bartender for a beer. After drinking it, he too asked where the toilet was. Once again the bartender gave him directions and off walked the pig.
Then yet another little pig walked into the bar and asked for a beer, which he drank. Then the bartender asked him, “Don’t you want to know where the toilet is?”The pig replied, “No, I’m the little pig that went wee wee wee all the way home”.
I was reading a book on pig anatomy the other day. It was all pretty standard until I got to the end. Then there was a twist in the tale.