You can tell it’s time to go back to school because so many things change over the summer. 8th graders will be 9th graders. Pre-teens may show up much taller than when last spotted. At Wicked Uncle, we’ve anticipated your anxiety and we’ve got the only list you need to send the kids back to school this fall:
- Dyson Ball Vacuum
- Ukick – Tricks and Stunts to Master
- Rebel Girls 2 Volume Gift Set
- Neon Effect Message Frame
- Squishy Human Body
- Tumbling Hedgehog
- SmartCore 6 – Build Your Own RC Vehicles
- Sing-Along Bling – Bluetooth Karaoke Microphone
- Are You Dumber Than A Box of Rocks?
While preschool might not require text-books or staplers, they’re hitting milestones too! Now, I know what surprised me the most about a structured school environment when I was between the tender ages of 3 and 4 was that there were CHORES… and CLEAN UP… and no one was exempt. I’ve learned, however, that if you make cleaning a game, they’ll never need a nudge. This realistic, kid-sized vacuum toy has working suction, sound, and cyclone action. At 25” tall, it’s just like the real thing. The vacuum chamber is filled with colorful balls than can be whipped into a whizzing cyclone, with realistic sounds! Perfect for inspiring an inner-neatnik.
Since kids at 4 can’t necessarily wow their peers with the memorization of the periodic table (like the cool kids in my day did), you’ll have to impress them with gimmicks and tricks. It may look like a simple set of feathers stuck in a set of six discs, but it’s so much more than that. Here’s what you do: keep the UKick in the air with your feet or any other part of your body — don’t let it touch the ground! The more disc weights you add, the quicker the UKick flies and the harder it gets. It’s like badminton, hackysack, and soccer combined! Friendships will be tested.
The best way to return to school after a long, hot summer is as a researched and referential feminist. Six is definitely not too young to start! In these tomes, you’ll discover 200 heroic tales about extraordinary women, illustrated by 60 female artists. They’re accessibly told in fairy-tale format, but their deeds and minds are as real as you and me. Learn about Ruth Bader Ginsburg as a teenager. About Cleopatra, Serena and Venus, Amelia Earhart, and dozens more. Your little scholars will be lugging these books to school for recess, show and tell, book reports, and back home for bed time.
Ding ding ding! This list’s best-selling winner is this quirky, light-up, glowing message board! The possibilities are somewhat limitless — leave notes, doodles, or original art on this LED light-up message board. It’s 9” frame is made from plastic with a central glass panel for message writing in pink, green, or orange. Just wipe it with a dry cloth to start all over. Ideal for the start of school. You can pack it into your backpack, set it up at home with homework to-do lists, write inspirational quotes to keep yourself going as you burn the candle at both ends with your 2nd grade homework…
If you return to school in the 3rd, 4th, or 5th grade and you don’t know kooky facts about the human skeleton and our vital organs, you’re basically eating lunch alone — that’s a fact. This kit comes with a 12” high model of a human skeleton with removable squishy organs, as well as skeletal, vascular, and muscular systems. The guide, forceps, and tweezers, walk you through removing 12 different bones and muscles and 9 vital organs. It’s like high-stakes Operation, but with MORE science!
Ever ask your parents for a hedgehog and get hit with a resounding and final “NO”? Well, I’m pretty sure that didn’t include robot hedgehogs that you built yourself. See, this robot comes with 39 mechanical parts and plastic additions, and a built-in sensor that responds to claps. There are three modes (you can tell which one he’s on by the color of his LED eyes), and he moves, curls his body, and performed perfectly executed backward rolls. Ideal for traipsing through the hallways with or using as a science project! Blows Jimmy in 1st period’s dumb story about a new puppy out of the water!
Terrify your teachers by controlling one of six combinations of air or land vehicles with one module. Its patented algorithm evaluates the best way to control each vehicle. The module pairs with the remote control, so it’s only up to you to build it and drive it. You can build trikes, gyrobots, tanks, hovercrafts, turboprops, or drones! Young engineers will have an edge on all of the robot-less engineers, or worse… engineers with only ONE kind of robot. Posers.
This microphone built for a budding rock star hides a secret: a bluetooth speaker that DOUBLES as a portable karaoke system. Connects to your bluetooth devices with a battery life of five hours. It’s got echo control, flashing LED disco lights, and an SD card slot so you can blast music on the playground… or practice with your rock band until you guys take it public at the talent show. What’s that? Becky has a bluetooth speaker over by the parallel bars? Can you SING into hers?!
Calling all Mensa scholars – did you forget to study over the summer? Of course not, a Mensa scholar would never. Just in case though… this trivia game tests your knowledge against a bunch of ROCKS. It’s simple: draw a card, then pick a category. Shake the box and open the top… and either you, or one of the three cleverest rocks in this hemisphere will have the right answer. With 100 cards, 300 questions, your wooden human player pawn, and game board, you’ll be fully prepared for school again with crash course in intellectual rigor.
I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: The best time to prepare for school is not now, not tomorrow, not the week before… but yesterday.
“If you aren’t ready to be the smartest, coolest, edgiest, most stylish, or most talented, why even bother with an education?” — Albert Einstein, probably.
Enough solemnity. Have a giggle:
Q: Why was school easier for cave people? A: Because there was no history to study!
Q: What’s the king of all school supplies? A: The ruler!
Q: Why did you eat your homework?! A: Because I don’t have a dog!