The jury’s out on how July babies feel having to share their month with the old U.S. of A. We’ve thought long and hard about how to recognize both the very sensitive July babies, and make sure America gets its righteous due. Which led us to our list of unusual fun patriotic July birthday presents.
After all, we’re all yankee doodle dandies on the inside, are we not?
So We the People (and Elves) of Wicked Uncle have provided our definitive, resolute list of guaranteed Happiness for a July born, non-voting American.
- USA Map in the Tub
- Flashing LED Baseball Cap
- Presidential Eraser
- The Totally Hilarious All About America Activity Book
- Eat Your US History Homework
- Presidential Pets
- All Around the USA Brainbox
- Funfetti Popcorn
- Everything Chocolate Covered Pretzels
- Candy Burger
At first glance the most fun part of this toy might be that it’s a puzzle… or that the 30 pieces can stick to bathroom tiles OR float in the water. But you’d be wrong. The best part of this toy is that when you’ve completed the puzzle, you have an unbelievable overview of the best parts of every state – animals and famous monuments from each region, like buffalo in Wyoming or the Statue of Liberty in New York. And when you’re finished, pack it all away in a be-suction-cupped mesh bag!
This ball cap, while it looks like any ordinary black ball cap, is in fact, much more. It’s got an electric blue LED strip around the peak and an adjustable velcro fastening strap for a comfortable fit. The switch is hidden in the side of the cap, and you can set it to flashing, slow flashing, constantly on or off, or mix it up for an epileptic’s absolute nightmare. Shine brighter than the fireworks this 4th!
This eraser… is huge. In the sense that it’s 4” tall, but bigly in spirit. And even though we know you never make mistakes, because you’re the greatest, the strongest, biggest and most powerful, most stable genius EVER, sometimes your HATERS make mistakes — SAD! As long as you’ve got this miniature version of the leader of the free world in his favorite shade – orange – they’ll never be able to prove you said it. Just don’t tweet it.
Just like our founding fathers, all you need is a pencil (or a feathered quill – your choice, they’re just so hard to find these days.) Packed into this 132-page patriotic tome, you’ll be able to redesign our coinage, create a national monster (how have we not done that yet…), try to name the state by its shape, and so much more. The “Bit of Learnin” sections between goofy activities keep the experience educational, while the goofy activities keep the educational experience carefully masked.
This staffer’s personal favorite of the list! If you’ve ever wondered what succotash IS or where it came from or how to make it… look no further! (Hint: It was the Wampanoag Indians that showed the pilgrims how to make it at the first Thanksgiving.) This is a fabulous hardback book about U.S. history and a way to eat your way through it. Including recipes, war stories, and helpful step-by-step pictures, I’ve never found a better way to connect to my country than through FOOD!
Animal lovers, patriots, fun-fact-collectors, and poetry fans will find all of their interests converged in this glossy, rhyming hardback. Did you know that Grover Cleveland practically turned the White House into a farm? Or that Teddy Roosevelt had at least six kinds of pets? (That one makes sense to me, actually…) Featuring adorable cartoons of the presidents and their best pals, this book is a fun way to remind everyone — presidents are just like you! They also had to beg their mom for a pet alligator to keep in the bathroom!
If you’re a genius, you’ll have an advantage. If you’re not, you’ll have a chance to become one. Based on the roll of a die, you’ll study a card with a fun fact about the US of A on it, (one of 55), and then answer a question. Perfect for flexing brain muscles AND your love of country, it can make a study monster out of anyone who’s just seen National Treasure a lot. Fun for the whole family or for straining your already fragile pre-adolescent friendships!
Very Important & Patriotic Candy Section
Enjoy popcorn covered in this unique sweet, slightly salty, and crunchy pastel candy coating – for kid’s eyes only.
Enjoy rich belgian chocolate pretzels made with the finest ingredients. Covered in creamy milk chocolate for the perfect combination of salty and sweet with an exciting assortment of toppings, including chocolate chips, toffee pieces, peanut butter chips, rainbow nonpareils and more!
If you can’t make it to a cookout, don’t worry. This burger is fully-loaded, including 6 candy cheez ‘n sauce gummy bears, 5 candy bites, 4 candy salad pieces in the shape of pickles, and 1 of 3 different candy toppings.
Whether you love sharing your birthday with National America’s Birthday CookOut Hot Dogs Burgers n Fireworks month, or you wish everyone would just can it and focus on the REAL star-spangled star—YOU—there’s a way to celebrate it.
From the Redwood
Forests… to the… the…
Well, no one can
remember all the words to that song.
Celebrate with passion and verve, like George Washington would have wanted! Which means finding unusual fun patriotic July birthday presents on the internet. Assuming you could successfully explain the internet to George Washington.
And speaking of George…
Q: What’s the difference between a duck and George
A: One has a bill on his face, and the other has
his face on a bill
Q: How come there’s no Knock Knock joke about
A: Because freedom rings.
Q: What do you get when you cross Captain America
with the Incredible Hulk?
A: The Star-Spangled Banner.
Wicked Uncle Seal of Approval
You can trust Wicked Uncle because we
know toys. We regularly visit every toy fair to find unique and fun toys,
not just doing searches on the web. We have great customer satisfaction,
personalized service and will follow up to ensure your satisfaction. If you do
happen to have any issues, our helpful customer
service squad is on hand to assist and solve any problem.
- Why We Chose Them: All of the toys Wicked Uncle recommends are high quality, kid tested and from top brands. All toys are age-appropriate and categorized accordingly, so there is no guessing whether or not they are above or below the child’s skill or interest level.
- How We Test Them: The children of our very own staff test and kid approve every toy for fun! We delivered over 100,000 toys (and smiles!) just last year alone in the continental USA.
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